Friday, August 19, 2011

Days #18 and #19 - Everyone Needs Someone

I have found it interesting that the designation for contacts on the popular social media site Facebook is that of “friends.” The more people became my so-called friends on Facebook, the sillier I felt having so many people who were willing to call themselves my friends. When my number of Facebook friends reached 5,000, I received a message from Facebook telling me that I could not have any more new friends unless I deleted some of my old friends. One cannot have more than 5,000 friends on Facebook.

Initially, this was a challenge. “What would people think,” I wondered, “when they realized that I had “deleted” them?” But after I reviewed many of the names on my list of Facebook friends, I realized that I really did not know many of them personally. In fact after more careful observation, it appeared that many of these folks were not only unknown to me but had postings and profiles that suggested I may not want to know them at all. So deleting certain Facebook friends did not pose a problem at all.

Then I realized that there are actual friends in life that may need to be deleted also. It is very hard to pursue goals while maintaining friendships with people who have no interest in the goals that we are seeking. Not only should we delete those that are our friends but who have no interest in our goals, but we should actively seek relationships with people who are attempting to accomplish goals similar to ours. Often our loyalties to our friends undermines the likelihood our successes and accomplishments.

Those of us who are trying to change results in our lives are always better off having a few good friends who appreciate and support our efforts than hundreds of so-called friends who are doing the exact opposite of what we are trying to do. It is so much easier to exercise, lose weight, stop gambling, read books, worship God, get out of debt, invest money and generally improve our lives when we are trying it with other people.

We should not wait for others to get started. But we should realize the value of having others on our team. I have learned that it is very helpful to write a short list of real friends – share my goals with those people – and ask them to support my efforts in some way. Carefully chosen people who will be your partner in pursuit of your goals can be more valuable than money. Make your list and then recruit your team.

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